and a very merry Christmas to you!

When you have been down to Aldi to buy your fibre optic Christmas Tree, lights included for £12.99, you feel reasonably sure it will offer a cheerful sparkle to your abode at a fair price.

That is of course until your new found golf mate, who is that because you were paired with him to win the Christmas competition, invites you round to his house for a drink and a snack!
You have heard at the Golf Club that he is 'reasonably situated', as they say at the Royal Bank of Scotland, but it is when you arrive at the house you begin to wonder just how well situated 'reasonably' is.




"You didn't tell me I should have gone out and bought a new dress" wails the wife.






The trouble is, this was only the beginning. He didn't acquire the Christmas trees inside the house from John Lewis, let alone Aldi!


You feel the decorations in the dining room are a bit over the top - until you discover you are in the servants quarters!


And then when you see the dining room she says: "I thought you told me he said come round for a snack!"

"Don't worry" he says, appearing just as her words came out: "this is just the breakfast room; we are eating in here" pointing the way to the adjoining room.



I realise you won't believe me, but I took the picture before I'd taken a drink. There stood his wife without a head. It was the first of a series of ghostly scenes that were hard to describe.

We were well wined and dined and kindly invited to stay the night. I suppose the only adverse part of it was his wife didn't have much to say.







In the morning another shock: no baby yellow duck to play with like at home; just a bathroom filled with skaters.





Before breakfast I nipped out for a breath of fresh air, only to discover more ghosts: a family no less. I distinctly saw the mother turn her head and heard her warning: "watch out kids, keep behind me,there's that ghostbuster with his blow gun!"

Most peculiary, there was only an outside loo.
Trouble was it was hard to climb into and even more dangerous if you slipped going out the door!





I don't care if you don't believe me. How else would I come by the pictures?