Have we lost our sense of humour on this of all days!

Letter from Golf Club Secretary

SLOW PLAY – THE CURSE OF MODERN GOLF ????? 

Having received a considerable number of complaints and had to deal with the several incidents related to these problems, The Competition Committee has now decided to take some positive action and for once and all establish who the real culprits are that hold up the course or won’t call anyone through and then take appropriate action.

The first thing that needs to be done is to have actual film footage of those that are not playing sufficiently swiftly. The action required might be to strongly request that the player generally speeds up, or provide useful hints to speed up their game or recommend they have a series of lessons with the Professional that will reduce the number of shots and therefore generally get them around the course somewhat quicker.

We have purchased sufficient camera drones that we can cover the whole of the competition field with hawkeye cameras. Five members of the Competitions committee are attending the 5 day course in Amsterdam to learn how to fly the helicopter drones and hopefully once they are all proficient they will be able to fly one of our fleet of 12 drones ( battery charging to be done while still being able to fly and there will of course be the odd crash that will need to be covered by a back up drone) – we are considering adding speakers to the drones so that direct instructions can be given.

WE HOPE THAT THIS ACTION WILL HELP EVERYONE ENJOY THEIR GOLF EVEN MORE.

                                                                                                            1.4.2014

Reply

For the attention of the Secretary.

Having just qualified as a pilot of midget surveillance planes (see picture attached), I can save you some money and the bother of training people. You will only need one plane if you employ me to watch for slow players and will cost you nothing other than a year's free membership. 

Having said that I can tell you who the slow players are anyway - if they are the same ones playing when I did!

Reply from Golf Club Secretary

Good to hear from you - must say you look wonderful in a plane - thanks for the offer by the way - it's a shame others didn't take it in the same way kind regards